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Your baby believes you are the same person...

“Your baby believes you are both one person, and you are hardwired to respond to them as such... It is part of the great responsibility we take on in raising children to do our best to meet their needs and to respond with sensitivity and compassion. This means that even if you are unable to respond immediately (for example if you are in the car, or in the bathroom) you can repair and show compassion for their experience of separation alarm, i.e. “I am separated from my person! My fight or flight instincts have kicked in!” This is very real for babies.⠀

In the early days it can feel like every waking moment is entirely devoted to meeting your newborn’s needs. The endless loop of breastfeeding, diaper changing, rocking, and attempting sleep when you can may feel daunting and monotonous. But remember that you are providing an essential element to building their foundation of secure attachment. You are showing this little being that “If you have a need, I will meet it.” This is not spoiling or coddling, but deeply rooted attachment-centered care. And as the days turn into weeks and months, meeting their needs gets easier. You learn how to read your baby, communicate with them, and they eventually are able to go for longer stretches in between having those basic needs met.⠀

But meeting emotional needs will always remain your true north of parenting. It is your shared heart, the one that forever keeps you in tune with your child, that you nurture every time you respond with loving kindness and compassion. Your baby believes you are the same person…when they realize this is not the case, give them every reason to rest in your continued care and nurturing.” Words by @taylorkulik


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