As a more well-seasoned mother you know that these moments you cherish will change and pass by as quickly as they came. That the wiggly baby you’re holding will do something new tomorrow and it will burst your heart with joy and simultaneously break it from sadness. That the things about motherhood you don’t enjoy quite as much, or maybe even slightly dread (ie sore nipples, sleep deprivation, etc) have their sweetness too. You don’t wish those parts away because you know they make up the big picture of motherhood, and that the greater your capacity to feel pain, the greater your joy will be. That sometimes you can’t get to the sweet without going through the pain first. So you breathe it all in, take it in stride, memorize the sting of the hard parts. The parts that show you what you’re made of, because you know you’ll miss those too. Maybe even most.
As a seasoned mother you look at the sweet little face you created, staring, hoping to burn every single detail into your brain, so as to leave a permanent scar.
You let them need you a little bit more, even when you might not want to be so needed, because you notice how quickly they won’t need you so much. At least not in the same ways.
The more babies you have the more quickly they grow. It feels like the cruelest of tricks, to relish the call of motherhood exponentially more as it’s slipping through your fingers.
You absolutely ache to go back for just a moment to snuggle them again. To hold out your arms as they take their first steps. To hear them say “mama” in their cute little toddler voices.
When you take a step back and look from a distance, the years are short and you don’t get them back. Every single minute matters so make sure you continue making them count.
Writing this as I snuggle Rafe to sleep just thinking about how being a mother is the best thing in the entire world and I feel like the luckiest to get experience it. Love to all my fellow mothers out there. I see you doing the most important work, and even when you think you aren’t, you’re doing it SO well.
xo, e